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Minimizing the Pain and Probability of Rejection: Evidence for Relational Distancing and Proximity Seeking Within Face-to-Face Interactions

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Abstract
  • Prior research has revealed evidence for both proximity seeking and relational distancing following interpersonal rejection (Williams, 2007). The present study explored evidence for both processes in the context of face-to-face interactions. Participants were accepted or rejected by one person then asked to interact with a new relationship partner for the purposes of an impression-formation task. Conversations were recorded and transcribed. Results revealed higher levels of linguistic style matching and reciprocated conversational content among dyads containing a previously rejected compared to accepted target. Simultaneously, rejected targets rated their new partners as less kind and reported lower concern for the relationship. Both evaluations of partners and reductions in self-reported concern among the rejected were mediated by expectations of rejection. We suggest that automatic proximity seeking and the appraisal-mediated devaluation of new partners reflect efforts to minimize the potential for and pain of future rejection. Limitations and areas for future research are discussed.
  • Keywords: social rejection, avoidance, social pain, linguistic style matching, attachment regulation
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  • Sommer, K. L., & Bernieri, F. (2014). Minimizing the pain and probability of rejection evidence for relational distancing and proximity seeking within face-to-face interactions. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 6(2), 131-139. doi:10.1177/1948550614549384
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  • 6
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  • 2
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  • This research was supported by National Institute of Mental Health grant # MH066828-01 awarded to the first author.
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